To Any Suicidal Person

l am going to tell you what its like to be left behind for your family members after a person commits suicide in the hopes you may reconsider.

l know this from personal experience my father took his own life by way of hanging even though he tried to make the act as easy

as possible on his family like wearing a calico bag over his face and leaving a note on the doorway before anyone entered

saying Open with Caution...the fact is it didnt make me stronger there is no right way to commit suicide

talk to someone lm sure if you realised the pain you would cause those around you even if you reconsidered for a minute to

picture it the truth is familes of suicide victims never get over the loss the guilt the anger the shame the sense of failure

its also very common for another family member full of grief to also take there own life ...l can validate this

as l was so hung up on the feeling of what my father felt l considered doing exactly the same thing just so l could feel what he felt

was only a minutes thought then l thought of all those around me l would hurt and the thought has never entered my head again

Dealing with pain has nothing to do with being strong nothing about this has made me better or stronger

Its trashed me my memories hurt my thoughts about my dads suffering hurts

the manner of his death hurts seeing what it has done to my family and his closest friends hurts

places that I associate with him hurt interests that we shared hurt seeing things he liked hurts

enjoying anything hurts watching other girls with their dads hurts any family event hurts

holidays hurt looking at anything that belonged to him hurts and hearing about somebody else doing it hurts

Putting it into proper perspective.I have a responsibility to those I love

to be loving patient considerate and kind to be loyal respectful and honest

to be appreciative encouraging and comforting

to be the best possible ME

BUT

I am not responsible for them not for their achevements sucesses or triumphs

not for their joy gratification of fulfillment not for their thoughts choices or mistakes

And not for their suicide

l tell myself these things everyday its alot easier said then done but l am striving towards it my point is if your thinking of taking your own life

Think Hard before you do anything you will regret and seek help for whats making your life miserable

Dont ever think that they will get over it. The truth is they will never get over it we just have to learn to live with it this process takes time