the hardest thing i had to do

i have been long time friends with christian, but something changed and we lost touch. today i wrote my

my last message to him, we used to write every few days

we knew each other since 2006 , he is a dj . lately no messages, and very distant, so i told him i knew our friendship was over . there are no hard feelings i am not angry , just confused as to what happened. i also said anytime he needed to chat i was still there for him. it was hard for me not to hear from him, we have so much in common. i really thought he was the one , but the age gap was my problem. 10 years . i being the older . and of course i didn't look like the girls he went out with. so fear of rejection and humliation. stopped me from expressing my feelings for him. i think he got disappointed i didn't make a move or tell him how i felt. tonight i apoligized and told him i am sorry of i hurt him. and that i wouldn't write anymore. the pain of the last two months and tonight has taken it's toll. i am an emotional wreck. it will a long time before i defrost the the piece of ice in my chest again . or maybe not at all. i can't take this pain again. love you always christian.