Loving You - Missing You

Loving You - Missing You

Hello Honey,

I miss you so. I miss you like not having air to breath. I am suffocating without you. My life has come to a stand sill since you left. My heart is beating, yet it is empty. Not only empty, it is broken to pieces. All my feelings have drained from my body except fear and loneliness. I am scared you will not be back to make me whole again. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

We are apart now. All the tenderness, compassion, and togetherness we had are missing. I lie awake at nights thinking of our last words. It is pulling me apart! “Do not leave” I cried! “Do not go! Please my Love! Please!”

Now, alone in my room, thinking of you, of us, of what we had and what we were going to have. It is killing me. I swear I am dying! My love for you is still as strong as ever! In fact it has multiplied. But, you won’t answer the phone so I can tell you. You won’t talk to me so I can apologize. I can’t tell you that I love you. I miss you. I need you. I want you!

Oh My God! The phone is ringing! Is it you? Oh God, let it be you! It’s you! You called me!

“Please forgive me!” “Please tell me you are coming back” I said. But, you didn’t say anything. “I love you with all my heart!” “I love you more than all the rain drops in the world!” “My love is so……….” “Honey? Love? Sweetheart?” Damn! Damn! Damn! You hung up and didn’t talk to me. I didn’t hear your voice! Depressed even more now.

I am sitting here crying. Tears of sorrow and pain flowing down my cheeks.

What is that? A noise. A sound. A key in the door. Is it? Can it be? God, let me have this one chance.

With a swish, the door opened. “Honey?” “Darling?”

It’s you, my love! “I am so sorry. I want to take the things I said to you, the mean things I said back” she told me. “I made a mistake” she exclaimed. I accepted her apology with an open heart. I too apologized to her.

Two days later, I was on my way home from work, I stopped at the jewelers and at the flower shop.

I rushed home! Fast as the law would allow. When I got to home, she met me at the door. Kisses. Hugs. I took her into the living room, knelt down on one knee, opened the small velvet covered box, and asked her to marry me.

That was twenty two years ago. Now, I am dying again. Yet she stays by my side. Loving me. Helping me. Kissing me. Holding me. Caring for me. Comforting me.

Did I say I love you enough? Did I tell you how much you mean to me? Did I bring you flowers enough? Did I dance enough? I pray that I did.

My last days are telling me to write this letter. I thank you for our family. You made beautiful babies for us. Thank you for raising our children while I was working. Thank you for the past twenty two wonderful years. Thank you for all the love we shared. The good and the not so good. I’m sorry for all the things that I didn’t get to do with you. Things I should have done. Things I did. If I could go back in time, I would go back to that very second when I proposed to you. I would do it all over again.

I’m sorry for not saying “I LOVE YOU” more.

I’m sorry Darling I am leaving you this way. I love you with all my failing heart!

This is not fair! I am not done loving you yet!

God Knows Darling, I love you!