lost words

March 3, 2010

My princess,

When words turn out to be just words after all… it is then that I realized how wrong I was for being too much hopeful. I never doubted a word you said but I was wrong for hoping that everything you told me back then would forever hold true regardless of any circumstance. Words are just words after all. It won’t mean anything unless it actually happens.

You said you will be there for me whenever I need you… but you won’t be because you won’t even know. I am keeping my distance even though all I want right now is just to be as close to you as possible. I long for you to comfort me the same way you do back when things haven’t gone so complicated yet. You have no idea how much I miss those times… you have no idea how much I miss you.

I have decided to let you go not because I can no longer bear the pain… I just don’t want you to keep hurting like I do. And now I must stay away. You want me to move on without you but I’m just not ready for that yet. Maybe eventually I will… but as of now I still intend to keep what’s left of this little hope that I’ve been holding on to for so long. I can’t let you know about that though. I can’t let you see me like this. I can’t let you know how much I need you right now…