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Sad & Suicide
letters

so yah, im not having the best of luck latley, like the other day i found out that my boyfriend (who i was sapposed to move in with in a couple of days)had cheated on me more then once with, and the first time he did it i was there with him at a party and i was wondering why his best friend jumped me..it was all because she didn't want me with him she wanted her best friend with him but the sad thing about her jumping me is that im only 15 and shes like 25 haha and i still kicked her ass woot woot anywho lol.....so yes and way before all this my boyfriend well i guess i should say ex boyfriend crashed my grammas car well i was with him and almost killed me after he got me to steal it in the first place fuck im retarted ...so yah then his friend tells me that when he asked him if i was hott he said "well shes nothing specail but she gives me something to do and beside if i keep her happy i wont have to pay her grandma back for the car" and he calls me a bitch to them and all this shit like ii just dont know what to do with him weather i should be with him or not ? he said that he never said that about the car thing but he did admit to saying that shit about me but he siad he didn't mean it, it was kinda just like locker talk with the boys :(....and then after all that i hear that my step dads getting rid of my dog on me and i just need himm to keep her for like 3 more days till i can go pick her up and then after even all that i hear that my favriote uncle got hit by a car and died like what the fuck my head is so messed up right now and i have no clue what to do
l am going to tell you what its like to be left behind for your family members after a person commits suicide in the hopes you may reconsider.
l know this from personal experience my father took his own life by way of hanging even though he tried to make the act as easy
as possible on his family like wearing a calico bag over his face and leaving a note on the doorway before anyone entered ...“The Agony of Life” - (by Gerry Dapitan Lua)
My full name is Gerry Dapitan Lua, 29 years old with one kid his name is Gabriel Josh Lua, who is presently in the Philippines with his mother. I have been in the Gulf for quite sometime now and still I’ve been searching for the best company to work with but unfortunately I guess my fate dictates all of the things that happening in my life. My career, my son, my family & my love life. Though, don’t get me wrong I’m still a believer. My faith above still greater than my dreams. I know for a certain that there is “Greater Power” deciding things, the creator of all, the “Almighty God”.
My careers. I have been from one company to another looking for someone who will treat me right. I mean a big well known corporation that says it all. A “multi-billions” corporation worthy of my life-time service, dedication, sincerity & affection. But I guess my fate is not heading there. As of now my string of hope little by little are getting thinner and thinner. Most of the times I blame myself but never God. There are concrete answers to all my questions why my life have been like this, struggling for a good job & good salary. I know deep inside myself that my fate is determined long since the world begun. Somehow I’m thinking is this really what God wants me, to be in this place or to take this kind of profession? But again I know the answer. The tiny voice ringing inside of me repeatedly over and over again that I am destined to be God’s servant not anybody’s slave. My destiny is to be God’s disciple, to be fishers of man not slaves of money. I guess my dreams of having a successful life drug me up to where I am standing right now. But then again I know deep inside of me that this is not where I suppose to be. This is not where I belong. This is not where God’s planned for me. God’s intentions for me to experience all this things are part of His greater plan. That someday all these will be used for me to be a good counselor, comforter & healer for a wounded souls. Yes, I mean clearly and I’m saying it loudly that I know though I’m still learning to accept my fate, I know that all these things will be used for ministering those who are “lost” and “without life”. I know that someday I’ll be on the right track, for I know that “what is it for a man if he gains all of the wealth in this world but losses his soul.” There is no greater task than for a man to love thy God with all his heart, his mind and with all his soul.
...What is the meaning of sadness... - (by abude)
What is the meaning of sadness?
When you are waiting, some parson will never come
when you are expecting some call will never ring
When you checking some mail or message will never receive it ...I love you so much - (by abude)
I love you so much
This is the mistake of my life
With my hand will be the end soon
Maybe, from my suffer I will be boring ...
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